...and with a vengeance! 40 minutes of uncensored rambling due to boredom! What could be better?
COMMENT ON IT :)
Tuesday, December 8, 2015
Saturday, October 24, 2015
Ups and Downs...But Mostly Ups
If you have been with me since the beginning, you know that it isn't easy for me to make friends. You will know that I have hardly made any lasting relationships since coming to college. So, I am simultaneously overjoyed and disappointed by the new friendships I have made. That is, I am so happy to have met such wonderful people this semester, but most will be gone next semester.
A lot of the friends I have made are from Brazil. If you are not friends with a Brazilian, you should stop reading this and go meet one! They are some of the most fun, caring, zany, lovable people I've had the pleasure to meet. They look at life so much differently than Americans do. And it helps that everything they say is super adorable because of their accents. I love learning about their culture and language. It's just been really great getting to know this group of people, and I wish I would have met them earlier or that they could stay longer.
Other than that, my problems have been mostly with my health. I have been sick more than not! I am sick again right now. Also, I've been having some other personal health issues that this blog isn't exactly the place for. Then, I broke two toes and cut open my finger. I don't know what's going on. Maybe I just need to be more careful! Haha :D
In my last post, I told you I was the Facebook Administrator for the Coordinating Council on Homelessness in Morgantown. In addition to that and my job at the Boreman Bistro, I was also working at the Mountainlair Kitchen twice a week from 6 - 10 a.m. but it was too much.
But yes, I am working at the Boreman Bistro again like I did freshman year. It seems everything is coming full circle. This time, I'm not a whiny entitled freshman who didn't see the big picture. This makes working there a lot more rewarding and fun.
So far, academically, I am doing way better than I thought I could with 19 credits. I am achieving either an A or B in every class. I am trying to get everything up to an A, which is entirely possible if I put my mind to it. I really want to get a 4.0 at least one time.
They told me I wouldn't graduate on time if journalism was my primary degree because it would require 156 credits. My SOCA adviser switched anthropology to my primary degree, so I only need 150. With the transfer credits from the field school this summer and the 20 credits I will be taking next semester, I will have 153 credits when all is said and done! So, as long as the transfer credits go through and I pass all of my classes, everything should be good. Fingers crossed. Please pray for me.
I wish I could talk about my romantic life on this blog, but I think certain people wouldn't appreciate that. All I will say is, dudes are confusing. I think they may also have more emotions than dudettes. They're just better at hiding them.
I think now that I have my laptop back, maybe I will make a vlog post in the next few weeks. I guess all I can really say is, not much adventure is happening right now. I am just struggling to keep up and get to where I am supposed to be, but that's what life mostly is and it's something I am starting to appreciate. I don't know if we ever really find that place, but I do know that what we do to get there and who we do it with is what defines us. It's what all our memories reflect. And I hope if you're reading this, maybe you will be inspired to keep struggling because it will all be worth it in the end.
Goodnight!
Love,
Me ♥
Wednesday, September 30, 2015
I want you back.
When I wrote my last post, I was really down in the dumps. I mean,
really. Like, I was shoved deep inside by dark forces of darkness and
all I could see was emptiness.
At the end of the semester, I stayed inside my apartment for days at a time. Sometimes I didn't go to class for days, and I didn't know if it was day or night or what the weather was. I would order a pizza or two and see how long it could last. At the time, I justified this and more with the repeated slogan, "I just have more time now to relax."
I would binge-watch TV, sometimes with Farria, sometimes alone. My apartment was a disgrace. Getting from my door to my bed became like trying to get the One Ring to Mordor. So I just slept in the living room. Everything was in a state of chaos; my room, my kitchen, my job, my education, my life. I didn't care anymore, and I stopped trying.
It wasn't just what happened with The Daily Athenaum. It was the continual screwing-over that most people have rewarded my loyalty with throughout my life. Losing my job in that way just solidified the voices in my head. And I let them win. Eventually, you don't have any fingernails left to keep clawing up the side of the well...and you drown.
Somehow I managed to get a 3.4 GPA with an A in sociological theory, Bs in accounting, geology lab, investigative reporting and political science, and I received a C in geology lecture. Honestly, I don't remember most of these classes or that I even took them. I was hardly there even when I showed up to class.
Then, the summer started. There will be a more in-depth look at my summer on my travel blog as soon as I get on with it. I'll keep you posted. But here's a bit of background information and overview.
At the end of the semester, I stayed inside my apartment for days at a time. Sometimes I didn't go to class for days, and I didn't know if it was day or night or what the weather was. I would order a pizza or two and see how long it could last. At the time, I justified this and more with the repeated slogan, "I just have more time now to relax."
I would binge-watch TV, sometimes with Farria, sometimes alone. My apartment was a disgrace. Getting from my door to my bed became like trying to get the One Ring to Mordor. So I just slept in the living room. Everything was in a state of chaos; my room, my kitchen, my job, my education, my life. I didn't care anymore, and I stopped trying.
It wasn't just what happened with The Daily Athenaum. It was the continual screwing-over that most people have rewarded my loyalty with throughout my life. Losing my job in that way just solidified the voices in my head. And I let them win. Eventually, you don't have any fingernails left to keep clawing up the side of the well...and you drown.
Somehow I managed to get a 3.4 GPA with an A in sociological theory, Bs in accounting, geology lab, investigative reporting and political science, and I received a C in geology lecture. Honestly, I don't remember most of these classes or that I even took them. I was hardly there even when I showed up to class.
Then, the summer started. There will be a more in-depth look at my summer on my travel blog as soon as I get on with it. I'll keep you posted. But here's a bit of background information and overview.
- I went to my mom's in Williamson, NY and Farria came to live with my family.
- I went to my dad's in South Jersey and spent time with everyone down there.
- I maintained a piss-pour attitude through everything, experiencing paranoia, anxiety and self-hatred often, but mostly masked as pretentiousness.
- I went to Southern California and experienced what I can only describe as a redeeming revival.
- I spent more time in New Jersey and New York with a whole new perspective.
- I went back to Morgantown, WV.
Now, I am taking a 19-credit schedule. I am taking Mesoamerican Archaeology, Intro to Math Concepts & Lab, Geology & Lab, Sociological Research Methods, Social Problems in Contemporary America and Civil War & Reconstruction. I am also working at Boreman Bistro again, where I worked my freshman year. I also am the new Facebook Administrator of the Zero:2016 Facebook page, working for the Coordinating Council on Homelessness for the city of Morgantown.
But, more than what I do, it is who I am that is new. Almost single-handedly due to the events that transpired in California, I have more faith in the Creator and in myself and in humanity than I've had in my life. There is good out there and in each of us. I'm starting to understand the real world, and it's helping me become less afraid of it.
We are faced every morning we wake with a decision - to let the external world overwhelm us and hijack our peace of mind or to do the best we can with each brand new day, appreciating the time given to us and quieting the unwanted noise that attempts to disturb us. Simply put, I've been making good decisions.
I will try to post at least two Mondays a month with updates. Until next time, remember to smile :D
Love,
Me
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
I think we should see other people...
So I'm not sure if anyone looks at this anymore, but I still feel like a bad person for not updating this like I used to. The problem is, I stopped being passionate about my own life, so I really didn't want to relive it on my blog. I'm trying to get that passion back, though. I'm digging myself out of the darkness I've felt this year. Maybe I will start posting for my senior year, but I'm not sure.
Not much has happened this year.
This semester, I took geology, lab, investigative journalism, sociological theory, state and local government, and accounting. I expect to receive, in order, a C, B, C, A, B and B. For me, this is spotty and embarrassing. It is also the product of working at The Daily Athenaeum and being depressed. I guess I won't have to worry about the first thing next semester.
That's right. The DA decided not to rehire me in any capacity next year. A rich bitch took my job and her writing sucks. So, I decided I wasn't going to help them transition. I resigned. I put my heart and soul into that job and all I got out of it was a paycheck. Which is great, but I can get that anywhere. I was very hurt by this situation, but maybe it is for the best.
Despite my spotty attendance, sociological theory was my favorite class this semester, which is probably the only reason I was able to achieve an A. I received 95+ on almost every single assignment. I had Jason Manning as professor...he is the cutest thing that ever walked into a classroom. He has a nervous chuckle that makes me giggle inside like a little girl. Which I guess I still am sometimes. He's so intelligent and he's got style...and a girlfriend. Haha not that it matters, but it ruins the fantasy a little bit.
I enjoyed doing my last journalism assignment this semester. I interviewed Steve Urbanski, a professor here, about the ethics of journalism. I had him for my media ethics class, and he is one of my favorite teachers. You can read about his ethical dilemma here.
I also enjoyed going to two Morgantown City Council meetings this semester and interviewing the mayor. Because of my polisci class, I really understand things a lot better, which inspires me to get involved. I really think it is important for WVU students to be involved and cooperative with the local government here. As much as I can't stand people, people are everywhere, and I love Morgantown. There's just no place like it!
Next semester, I will be taking Mesoamerican archaeology, sociological research methods, civil war and reconstruction, social problems in contemporary America, geology, lab, intro to math concepts, and math lab.
I have Dr. Manning again for research methods. I am SO looking forward to it ;). I have Brian Luskey, who I had for the first history course I took my freshman year. He just inspires patriotism and true history appreciation. I can't wait for his class.
I will have Daniel Brewster for that contemporary America class. If you don't know about him, you can Google him and I'm sure you'll find a bunch. I just don't find him as interesting a everyone else does, I guess.
I will also have Amy Hirshman for Mesoamerican archaeology. She is so funny. I had her for two classes last year.
Tomorrow, I have an interview about participating in the Mountaineer Week committees. I am very excited about this chance to give back to WVU and be a part of Appalachian culture! I love the fiddle contest and the ghost walk every year.
I am starting two blogs and then seeing which one I like better. One is Morguentown Haunts, which will be journalism about the paranormal history and present here in Morgantown. The other is Wellnesses, which is about helping yourself thrive and grow and find peace as a human being.
I have a vision for myself next semester. I will be fully independent in my decision-making. I will keep friendships to a minimum. I will do well in all my classes. I will complete all assignments. I will achieve my BEST. I will only work up to 20 hours per week at a job at the Mountainlair or in Eliza's or both. I will have time for solitude, taking walks on Saturday mornings, recording music, writing, podcasts, and painting, and reading, and breathing. I will balance my life. I will work out every day. I will eat when I am hungry, and I will eat healthy foods. I will find zen.
This summer, however, will be a bit chaotic - in a good way! First, I will go home where I will help my mom run her pizza place and deli. I will have fun at Apple Blossom and I will visit my beautiful friends. Then, I will be going to my dad's where I will go crabbing with my cousin Nick, go to a Phillies game in the new stadium since I haven't been yet, see Jurassic World (who else is excited!? in 3D, and, most importantly, I will be with my dad for Father's Day. This hasn't been the case in years. Lots of years. I am so thankful! Then, I will head home for a few days to get my shit together and then I will fly (for the first time! O_O) to California. I am so excited to be part of the San Bernardino Unidentified Persons Project. You can read all about it here. Then, back home to work for my mom for the remainder of the summer. During my summer, I will utilize my blog, Traveling Silently.
In the mean time, I am looking for a job and/or internship. I am acing my finals. I am taking some time to recuperate from the pain and loss I've been caused. And, I'm freeing myself. I'm letting myself be human.
For now, I think we should see other people. But, maybe I will be back in the fall.
Not much has happened this year.
This semester, I took geology, lab, investigative journalism, sociological theory, state and local government, and accounting. I expect to receive, in order, a C, B, C, A, B and B. For me, this is spotty and embarrassing. It is also the product of working at The Daily Athenaeum and being depressed. I guess I won't have to worry about the first thing next semester.
That's right. The DA decided not to rehire me in any capacity next year. A rich bitch took my job and her writing sucks. So, I decided I wasn't going to help them transition. I resigned. I put my heart and soul into that job and all I got out of it was a paycheck. Which is great, but I can get that anywhere. I was very hurt by this situation, but maybe it is for the best.
Despite my spotty attendance, sociological theory was my favorite class this semester, which is probably the only reason I was able to achieve an A. I received 95+ on almost every single assignment. I had Jason Manning as professor...he is the cutest thing that ever walked into a classroom. He has a nervous chuckle that makes me giggle inside like a little girl. Which I guess I still am sometimes. He's so intelligent and he's got style...and a girlfriend. Haha not that it matters, but it ruins the fantasy a little bit.
I enjoyed doing my last journalism assignment this semester. I interviewed Steve Urbanski, a professor here, about the ethics of journalism. I had him for my media ethics class, and he is one of my favorite teachers. You can read about his ethical dilemma here.
I also enjoyed going to two Morgantown City Council meetings this semester and interviewing the mayor. Because of my polisci class, I really understand things a lot better, which inspires me to get involved. I really think it is important for WVU students to be involved and cooperative with the local government here. As much as I can't stand people, people are everywhere, and I love Morgantown. There's just no place like it!
Next semester, I will be taking Mesoamerican archaeology, sociological research methods, civil war and reconstruction, social problems in contemporary America, geology, lab, intro to math concepts, and math lab.
I have Dr. Manning again for research methods. I am SO looking forward to it ;). I have Brian Luskey, who I had for the first history course I took my freshman year. He just inspires patriotism and true history appreciation. I can't wait for his class.
I will have Daniel Brewster for that contemporary America class. If you don't know about him, you can Google him and I'm sure you'll find a bunch. I just don't find him as interesting a everyone else does, I guess.
I will also have Amy Hirshman for Mesoamerican archaeology. She is so funny. I had her for two classes last year.
Tomorrow, I have an interview about participating in the Mountaineer Week committees. I am very excited about this chance to give back to WVU and be a part of Appalachian culture! I love the fiddle contest and the ghost walk every year.
I am starting two blogs and then seeing which one I like better. One is Morguentown Haunts, which will be journalism about the paranormal history and present here in Morgantown. The other is Wellnesses, which is about helping yourself thrive and grow and find peace as a human being.
I have a vision for myself next semester. I will be fully independent in my decision-making. I will keep friendships to a minimum. I will do well in all my classes. I will complete all assignments. I will achieve my BEST. I will only work up to 20 hours per week at a job at the Mountainlair or in Eliza's or both. I will have time for solitude, taking walks on Saturday mornings, recording music, writing, podcasts, and painting, and reading, and breathing. I will balance my life. I will work out every day. I will eat when I am hungry, and I will eat healthy foods. I will find zen.
This summer, however, will be a bit chaotic - in a good way! First, I will go home where I will help my mom run her pizza place and deli. I will have fun at Apple Blossom and I will visit my beautiful friends. Then, I will be going to my dad's where I will go crabbing with my cousin Nick, go to a Phillies game in the new stadium since I haven't been yet, see Jurassic World (who else is excited!? in 3D, and, most importantly, I will be with my dad for Father's Day. This hasn't been the case in years. Lots of years. I am so thankful! Then, I will head home for a few days to get my shit together and then I will fly (for the first time! O_O) to California. I am so excited to be part of the San Bernardino Unidentified Persons Project. You can read all about it here. Then, back home to work for my mom for the remainder of the summer. During my summer, I will utilize my blog, Traveling Silently.
In the mean time, I am looking for a job and/or internship. I am acing my finals. I am taking some time to recuperate from the pain and loss I've been caused. And, I'm freeing myself. I'm letting myself be human.
For now, I think we should see other people. But, maybe I will be back in the fall.
Monday, January 19, 2015
Fall 2014 recap
So! In case you are wondering, I have been kinda busy. Last year, I found out the DA was getting rid of Web Editor. I applied for Associate A&E Editor. I got the position. Then, after some authoritative changes at the DA, I was moved up to A&E Editor. I also got the Web Editor position back. I am in charge of a great group of writers, all girls. I make a budget of stories, I edit the stories, I layout the pages, I put everything online. Between this job and school and sleep, there isn't much time for this.
I've written a crapload of articles and designed so many pages now. You can see my work at thedaonline.com by searching my name or going to ISSUU.com/dailyathenaeum. I got to see Melissa Etheridge for free.
I live in an apartment now in Vandalia Hall. I like it, no matter what other people think of it. People say it's small, but it's a good size for me. It's comfy and it's my space. I had a psychotic bitch of a roommate for a while, but she moved out and I have the place to myself for now.
I started Campus Scouts, but it kind of fell apart. Next fall, I am regrouping and keeping my friends out of it. I made only a 3.25 GPA for the semester. I got a Bs in Media Editing (because I was late more than 3 times, but I got almost 100 on all the work -_-), Intro to American Government and Cultural Anthropology, while I got an A in my Vampire: Blood and Revolution class. It was the first semester I took few credits, struggled at all or had to drop any classes. I felt ashamed, but someone told me I needed to let myself be human. I'm trying to more and more. Realistic expectations have never been something I've had.
Anyway, not much happened last semester worth writing about. I've been a little down and tired, but still working on my health and inner peace. I got a new black cat, named him Lestat and kept him in my place even though I'm not allowed. I had to leave my baby boy back home over break. I miss him every day! <3 p="">
I know there hasn't been much substance in my posts - I'm going to work to change that as I progress. Even if it's just something funny or inspiring. Anything besides recapping events.
P.S. Over Winter Break, I basically just worked for my mom's new pizza place. You should go check it out - http://dishitout.vpweb.com/. I designed her website and I manage her Twitter.
I've written a crapload of articles and designed so many pages now. You can see my work at thedaonline.com by searching my name or going to ISSUU.com/dailyathenaeum. I got to see Melissa Etheridge for free.
I live in an apartment now in Vandalia Hall. I like it, no matter what other people think of it. People say it's small, but it's a good size for me. It's comfy and it's my space. I had a psychotic bitch of a roommate for a while, but she moved out and I have the place to myself for now.
I started Campus Scouts, but it kind of fell apart. Next fall, I am regrouping and keeping my friends out of it. I made only a 3.25 GPA for the semester. I got a Bs in Media Editing (because I was late more than 3 times, but I got almost 100 on all the work -_-), Intro to American Government and Cultural Anthropology, while I got an A in my Vampire: Blood and Revolution class. It was the first semester I took few credits, struggled at all or had to drop any classes. I felt ashamed, but someone told me I needed to let myself be human. I'm trying to more and more. Realistic expectations have never been something I've had.
Anyway, not much happened last semester worth writing about. I've been a little down and tired, but still working on my health and inner peace. I got a new black cat, named him Lestat and kept him in my place even though I'm not allowed. I had to leave my baby boy back home over break. I miss him every day! <3 p="">
I know there hasn't been much substance in my posts - I'm going to work to change that as I progress. Even if it's just something funny or inspiring. Anything besides recapping events.
P.S. Over Winter Break, I basically just worked for my mom's new pizza place. You should go check it out - http://dishitout.vpweb.com/. I designed her website and I manage her Twitter.
A Year Ago...almost
So, almost a year ago something bad happened. If you know me well, you know about it. But it isn't something I like to talk about too much. And even though something really bad happened to me, I am so much stronger today because of it. I understand so much about myself, and I love myself.
As a result of this bad thing, I was fired from U92. It was devastating. The position created for me would go to waste along with all of my brilliant, creative ideas to keep the news staff relevant. It was all over. A part of me died, while other parts of me were born.
During the prolonged meetings and events surrounding the bad thing, I began working out and exploring vegetarian diets. I went to the gym almost every day. When I couldn't go, I worked out in my dorm. I lost 50 pounds by August.
As far as classes went for Spring 2013, I got an A- in Italian, an A in Media Ethics, an A in Physical Anthropology, an A in Macroeconomics and a B in Archaeology-Ancient States.
I ran to be the treasurer of the West Virginia Federation of College Republicans, but I didn't make it. It was a stressful day. I didn't run to keep my position in the College Republicans at WVU. I was supposed to help campaign for Ken Reed, but they weren't very organized. My political career has fizzled out as did my belief in political change and purpose.
I became more involved with my honor society, the National Society of Collegiate Scholars. I helped 8th grade students and even ran for Webmaster. I got the position and currently serve on the officer board. I also served as the PR manager of Anarchappella. We sang at open mics a lot.
I made a group of friends that all went their separate ways this year. Dave, Austin, Jacob, and others...I miss hanging out with them. One time, we all went outside on the Mountainlair Green in the freezing rain to play frisbee. It was real fun, actually.
I went out to Vice Versa a lot last spring. It is the alternative, gay club in town. I love dancing there. The drag shows are a fun time, too!
In the summer, I got to meet my beautiful goddaughter Zoey. I had an okay time at Apple Blossom, but it's so not the same. I cooked a lot of vegetarian dishes and worked out a lot. Me and my family had fun drinking on Scribner Mountain.
Unfortunately, my dog Roxy died of cancer. It was one of the hardest things I've gone through because I felt so guilty. I never cared about her or went out of my way to be nice to her. I'm just happy I had the chance to explain to her how sorry I was before she passed. I loved her more than either of us knew. Having Lincoln only helped fill the void a little. She can never be replaced.
When I went to my dad's in New Jersey, I had a great time. I went to a Counting Crows and Toad the Wet Sprocket concert in Atlantic City. When I went there, I got to meet James Murray from Impractical Jokers by accident. I hung out with my cousin Nick and his awesome friends. We went crabbing and I was the "crab whisperer." I drank a lot of beer.
These are events that stick out that I didn't get a chance to post about until now. Only events. The feelings of all these moments are lost in time and within myself. It's hard to post more about these things after the fact. I'm going to try to get better about that.
As a result of this bad thing, I was fired from U92. It was devastating. The position created for me would go to waste along with all of my brilliant, creative ideas to keep the news staff relevant. It was all over. A part of me died, while other parts of me were born.
During the prolonged meetings and events surrounding the bad thing, I began working out and exploring vegetarian diets. I went to the gym almost every day. When I couldn't go, I worked out in my dorm. I lost 50 pounds by August.
As far as classes went for Spring 2013, I got an A- in Italian, an A in Media Ethics, an A in Physical Anthropology, an A in Macroeconomics and a B in Archaeology-Ancient States.
I ran to be the treasurer of the West Virginia Federation of College Republicans, but I didn't make it. It was a stressful day. I didn't run to keep my position in the College Republicans at WVU. I was supposed to help campaign for Ken Reed, but they weren't very organized. My political career has fizzled out as did my belief in political change and purpose.
I became more involved with my honor society, the National Society of Collegiate Scholars. I helped 8th grade students and even ran for Webmaster. I got the position and currently serve on the officer board. I also served as the PR manager of Anarchappella. We sang at open mics a lot.
I made a group of friends that all went their separate ways this year. Dave, Austin, Jacob, and others...I miss hanging out with them. One time, we all went outside on the Mountainlair Green in the freezing rain to play frisbee. It was real fun, actually.
I went out to Vice Versa a lot last spring. It is the alternative, gay club in town. I love dancing there. The drag shows are a fun time, too!
In the summer, I got to meet my beautiful goddaughter Zoey. I had an okay time at Apple Blossom, but it's so not the same. I cooked a lot of vegetarian dishes and worked out a lot. Me and my family had fun drinking on Scribner Mountain.
Unfortunately, my dog Roxy died of cancer. It was one of the hardest things I've gone through because I felt so guilty. I never cared about her or went out of my way to be nice to her. I'm just happy I had the chance to explain to her how sorry I was before she passed. I loved her more than either of us knew. Having Lincoln only helped fill the void a little. She can never be replaced.
When I went to my dad's in New Jersey, I had a great time. I went to a Counting Crows and Toad the Wet Sprocket concert in Atlantic City. When I went there, I got to meet James Murray from Impractical Jokers by accident. I hung out with my cousin Nick and his awesome friends. We went crabbing and I was the "crab whisperer." I drank a lot of beer.
These are events that stick out that I didn't get a chance to post about until now. Only events. The feelings of all these moments are lost in time and within myself. It's hard to post more about these things after the fact. I'm going to try to get better about that.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)